Does my Therapist Hate Me?

Do you ever think your therapist hates you or judging you? It's common! I know it makes you want to run, but it can be beneficial! Heres how…

When you are in therapy, you are often at your most vulnerable by letting another human being see the parts of you that bring shame. Therefore you have a tendency to project your own insecurities onto your therapist.

I did an exercise where I told my client to say whatever they felt about me and our relationship and be as blunt and emotionally open as possible. He told me he feels that I think that he's a "bad person," a fraud, and a bad father. But he thought I was just being nice to him because I had to be.

This was far from the truth. I felt none of those things and the client. So right then and there, he realized that's how he thought about himself, and we knew precisely what needed to be worked on.

If you have a good therapist, they will recognize this opportunity as well. The therapy room is a place where you can practice having the difficult conversations you will benefit from in the real world. It is also a place to have "corrective emotional experiences." These experiences in therapy help challenge your previously held beliefs through a safer form of human connection through your therapist.

An example of a corrective experience was when I had a client afraid of "straight" men. He was mercilessly bullied growing up. After having corrective experience of a safe and positive relationship with me, a heterosexual man, he was able to challenge his deep fears from the past and slowly develop new relationships with others.

Therefore when you think your therapist is judging you, this is valuable information, so pay attention. Don't be afraid to bring it up in therapy. You may just have a breakthrough!